I will absolutely punt your dog

Just a warning to anybody with dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals, if you dress that animal in clothing and I see it, I will square up and Sebastian Janikowski that thing through the imaginary uprights 50 yards out.

There is nothing more ridiculous and annoying than pets being dressed up as if they were actually humans. The thing about pets that people really like is that they are pets. They are animals. They are not people. If you don't want an animal, then reproduce and dress your baby like a crab or buy someone else crab looking baby.

I will say that there are some extenuating circumstances that might result in the necessity to dress your pet.

Actually, I wrote that and then tried to think of any legitimate reason and had an extreme stupor of thought. So there is no more a good reason for Fido or Catzilla to be dressed up than there is for Roseanne to be wearing a thong. Yeah, picture that and see how it feels to have to look at your stupid animal with elf ears and pointy hat on.

In conclusion, I will make very few if any exceptions to this rule and being that I don't care for pets in the first place (separate post coming soon) will have no qualms with stripping them of their garments and beating them with a yard stick covered in thumb tacks.

Battle Royale Zoo Edition: Hippo vs. Black Bear

It's time for another round of Animal on Animal carnage and I, for one, am excited about this match up. The hippopotamus, known to many as a friendly tub of lard in Africa, versus the black bear, the smallest and least ferocious of the otherwise deadly family. Below I will lay out the strengths and weaknesses of both, followed by my verdict on the winner.

Hippo:

1.) Freaking huge. Seriously, this thing would present enough food for that black bear for 8 fort nights.

2.) Surprisingly fast. Land speed in the upper 20 mph range for short distances.

3.) Giant spike teeth. The likes of which have only been seen on Mortal Combat.

4.) Crushing jaws. Think 2 ton crocodile.

5.) Foul disposition. Causes more deaths in Africa than freaking lions.

Black Bear:

1.) Agile. Have seen these guys balance on balls. How many hippos do you see doing that crap for Barnum and Bailey.

2.) Intelligent. They are natural hunters, not blobs that lay in ponds.

3.) Claws. Hope that hide is like unto steel, hippo, because bears are equipped.

4.) Subject to change. These guys range from Florida to Alaska and can live in just about any climate and condition. That can't hurt.

5.) Walk like a man. If you can do anything like a man, you're automatically getting a +1 because we are superior to everything.

The results may vary somewhat on terrain and who has home field advantage. Clearly, if you throw a bear in a pond with a hippo, he's going to be at a disadvantage and the same if you put a hippo on a mountain. I think if you play at a neutral location like Florida, you could gauge the fight a little better. I picture some marsh, but not completely flooded and fairly flat terrain with some trees. Now that you have the location set, it's on like Donkey Kong.

I think the hippo attacks first. Black bears are generally more timid unless bothered. The hippo will make a quick sprint, followed by being completely winded like Rosie O'Donell. I picture the bear avoiding the initial onslaught and coming back with a bear paw to the kisser. The issue I see at this point is that I think the hippo is pretty tough and awfully angry. From here I think it gets ugly. The hippo get its jaws around the bear and in spite of his best efforts to escape, he is torn to shreds and spread through the Everglades like little Winnie the Pooh confetti.

So there you have it. The hippo wins in a close, but very short fight to complete and total mutilation.

Old Year's Resolutions

Customer traffic on Saturdays in the RV industry can generally be likened to that of traffic at a Vietnamese whore house in 1972. However, when it's colder than a polar bear's testicles outside and Christmas season is at full speed, my job becomes considerably more boring. In conjunction with the boredom, I also become much less enthused about everything. In fact, every Winter season brings unimaginable thoughts and calculations of exactly how fast I will need to drive to kill myself on impact when I hit the bridge embankment. That is not a cry for help, just a fact.

All of that aside, at the request of several of you, my "fans," I have made a resolution to try and keep this blog slightly more current with my rambling ons of wisdom, opinion, and what nots.

Below is a recap of what I've been doing and thinking over the last several months (read: right now because I can't remember past that) since I last bombed with truths and tomfoolery.

1.) Winter and the cold weather and Christmas cheer that accompany it sucks giant water buffalo sized man tits equipped with multiple squiggly hairs that will inevitably get caught in your teeth and disgust you for hours, if not days, to come.

B.) The NBA lockout is finally over. David Stern has proven himself to have a small penis and a large desire to act like a huge douche. All in all , I am excited about the prospect of the sports world rotating like it should from here on out.

III.) My kids are keeping me up at night regularly which puts me in a generally pissy mood to go along with the witch tit cold weather and boring job.

4.) I just heard an old man say Sears and Roebuck. If he wasn't my boss's father in law, I might throw a water pressure regulator at him and inform him that it's not 1956.

E.) I loath the fact that Tyrann Mathieu from LSU was given the nickname Honey Badger. While he is a good player, he is in no way as terrifying as a freaking badger. Also, he is a coon ass and should be referred to as such.

VI.) Not to be a sell out, but I could always use a little extra cheese. So, anybody reading this should spread the word so I can increase my traffic, monetize this machine, buy an island in the Carribean, and wage war on French Guyana.

The End.

Guy on a Buffalo Fun!

You may or may not have seen the glory and hillarity that is Guy on a Buffalo. Either way, if you do not laugh at this, you are completely void of a soul.

P.S.- There are 3 episodes, each as good as the last. Amazingly funny!

Mythical Creature Showdown

For unknown reasons, I've been pondering a lot on what would be the best and worst mythical creature to be killed by. Obviously, it doesn't matter because they are mythical and I'm fairly certain that makes it difficult to be killed by said creatures. However, theirs got to be some sort of hierarchy of fake animals and animal combinations and such.

I think the obvious choice for the lamest mythical creature to be killed by would be the Unicorn. It symbolizes everything weak in our culture and society. It would be the equivalent of having a 3 week old Persian kitten eat your spleen out. I will say that the horn that the Unicorn wields is clearly dangerous and people do get trampled by horses, so from a purely "functional weapon" type argument, it's not that bad. But it's a freaking Unicorn, so if you get killed by one you may as well take that one way ticket down the Rainbow Connection to Hell, because not even the big guy can forgive that travesty.

The most respectable mythical creature to be offed by is a little more difficult. There's some pretty stout competition. You've got the Yetti and Bigfoot that could obviously dominate some human flesh. You've also got things like Dragons, Cyclops, Hydras, Griffins, and Trolls. These are the things that nightmares are made of. Everybody knows the Boogie Man is just some giant (insert deadly mythical creature of choice) hiding in your closet. I think the most frightening for me and probably the most respectable to be killed by would have to be either a Hydra or a Griffin. Both are legit contenders. The Hydra is a large dragon type monster whose heads multiply every time you cut one off. That's some scary crap. Just when you think you've figured this guy out and he goes and regenerates another dragon head. Bad news bears. I think if you get taken out by the Hydra, they will probably have some sort of stone monument erected in your honor just for being bad enough to try. The Griffin is also a frightening prospect- a lion/eagle- that's all kinds of bad news. Not only does he have a muscular lion body, but he can also fly and tear you apart with his talons and beak. I'm out on any Griffin attacks. But let's be honest, I'm out on getting attacked by any mythical creature. I would probably crap my pants and hope it was solid enough to stay put while I got my crack kicked by some sort of dragon/horse/lion/mosquito/rhinoceros/falcon. Terrible way to go.

Meteorologists really know how to party!

If you're into doing lines of coke and sleeping in an empty bath tub with a dead naked dude, then you should party it up with KARK weatherman Brett Cummins (assuming he doesn't get sent to prison for the above mentioned offenses.) Cummins was a likable enough guy for a weatherman. I watched a different channel, but I never had beef with him as my tornado predictor. However, apparently the excitement of the last few "weather events", err weathergasms, may have caused the guy to snap a little inside. You've got to be off a little anyway to get that excited about high pressure systems and fluctuating temperature, but Cummins was likely a little more than off. The story below gives a good summary of what we know of the events that led to Dexter Williams death. Basically, Cummins and Williams were over at a friend's house for a good wholesome night of inhaling some powdered stimulant. One thing led to the next, they climbed in an empty bath tub together to polish off a few bottles and Cummins woke up to naked, dead guy. I could see how most people could bend and twist the truth to make this look bad for the semi-famous meteorologist, but clearly he is not at fault. He was so shaken by the happenings, or still drunk/stoned enough, that he blew chunks all over the living room as soon as he woke up from his bath tub nap. Okay... he's definitely getting axed and probably going to jail. This may be the definition of cut and dry.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/09/06/arkansas-man-found-dead-in-empty-hot-tub-with-local-tv-meteorologist/?test=latestnews

Suspicious behavior

I often sift through the mug shots on our local FaulknerCountyBooked.com to see what gems I can find. A couple things that I am generally looking for: people I know, classic mug shots, and pictures that obviously match the crime. Today, I would like to share a few with you. I hope you enjoy this practice as much as I do.

Mr. Ronald Jones was busted for possession of cocaine. Do you think they even bothered looking for the coke? My guess is they took a look at the guy and just charged him for looking like he may have swallowed 3 lbs of cocaine.

Mr. David Howell was arrested for public intoxication. He must have been passed out in the middle of the road. They have tried to close his mouth several times. Not going to happen.

Justin Alexander was arrested for failure to appear and for being too dumb to figure out where the camera is. Mayflower, AR has never been known for an overly high IQ average.

Russell King was arrested for domestic battery. He must be married to a freaking gorilla. Seriously, dude?! Did you find her at the circus? Oh... I see, you tripped. Maybe fell down the stairs. I'm sure she loves you.

Ray Woodson arrested for... any guesses??? Yeah... tweaked out of his gourd. Sad thing is that he thought he was snorting cocaine. When they tested it, it was just powdered sugar and comet. Explains a lot.

This was an accident. Robert Dwiggins was arrested for failure to appear. They thought he was Willie Nelson. He was released shortly after the arresting officer searched him and didn't find a single doobie on him.

I'll try to make this a regular feature. It's a good time for everyone. Well, everyone except these guys. That would probably ruin a day.

Jawesome!

Apparently a medium sized village in the Philippines found and caught a very large problem- a 21' crocodile! As a person who has been around alligators fairly frequently, I can say... "Sweet Moses!" Supposedly, the crocodile was seen eating a water buffalo recently. My guess is that water buffalo means Volkswagen in Filipino. Any villager complaining about difficulty in finding shelter should just cut the thing open and take up residence in his small intestine. It's gotta be a solid 200 square feet. Can you imagine how much the skin and meat on that thing is worth? That's enough to make the late Steve Irwin poach and sell his pelt. The article is linked below. Pay special attention to the last line of the article... "They have been told to avoid venturing into marshy areas alone at night." Because the buddy system clearly works against 21' dinosaurs with hefty appetites.

http://news.yahoo.com/giant-crocodile-captured-alive-philippines-134625838.html

Update: They just cut his gut open and found 3 live bull sharks playing Marco Polo in there.

Herschel Walker is a very large, very crazy man.

Per Robbie's request, I am dropping some truth bombs today. However, I have spent literally 3.2 minutes looking for the video evidence of Herschel Walker's craziness during the Georgia v. Boise St. game to no avail. So you'll have to take my word for it.

Herschel was being interviewed by some girl sideline reporter about his documentary that is about to come out. Let it be known, that Herschel has long been known as a nut job. This is not new news for anybody. He's crazy. He's also incredibly ripped which is a scary prospect for the world. That dude could clearly go on a killing rampage the likes of which Marvel couldn't dream up. Coming back to the interview, Herschel was definitely on his crazy game. Even when he was making logical statements, he still sounded crazy. He, of course, threw in the requisite gratitude to God and Jesus Christ. No problem there, although at first ear shot I did think that he claimed to be Jesus Christ. Then, the interview got serious and all documentary pluggy. The focus was turned from his career and Georgia to his film. This was his synopsis...

"This is not a movie about rockets, but I do believe in rockets."

Thank you Herschel for clarifying that you do, indeed, believe in rockets. There was a lot of speculation about whether rockets actually existed and you have now nipped all of that right in the bud. Rockets do exist people... do not fret.

Nerding it up

I spent last night at the World Cup of Nerdism... ie: the midnight showing of Harry Potter. I think it is necessary to both explain myself and vent a little about the event.

First, the picture above is of my brother in law, Cameron, and Thomas Sepe. They have been planning on dressing up for the last Harry Potter for months now and I was recruited to drive Cameron and accompany. Let it be known, I would have seen the movie regardless. I like the movies and my wife is a huge fan. Without this exact situation or my wife's prodding I probably would have seen it a few days later, but I was here nonetheless.

Again, I do not read the books. I don't dress up. I don't cast spells. I don't know anything more than what I see in the movies, which I find fairly entertaining. Last night though, I did come across a phenomenal number of people that did read the books (some whilst standing in line). A group of people that did dress up, that did cast spells, and that were freaking weird. I actually believe that many of these people know that they are nerds. Some probably embrace it and some try to hide it like a giant cancerous mole. Below I would like to detail my experiences of the previous night to help those of you who did not have this rare people watching experience truly understand what it must be like to live in an alternate reality where David Blaine would be embraced as an equal.

9:30ish: Arrive at Rave Motion Pictures in Little Rock upon my brother in law's bidding to be there early. It is important to note that Little Rock has a weird mix of rich nerds, poor nerds, redneck nerds, thug nerds, nerd nerds, etc.

9:40ish: Realize that in spite of being at the theater 3 hours early we are still in a line that stretches entirely around the movie theater. Much sweating ensues.

9:40ish until 11:15ish: I am surrounded by people casting spells, chanting, singing, having "wizard's duels," reading, and discussing the misplacement and deleted scenes from book to movie. Still sweating. During this time, I also feel a strong, almost uncontrollable urge to bypass the wand waving and spell casting and just stick my foot directly up some of these kids'... well you understand, I'm sure.

11:15ish: I finally get into the theater and AC and procure a pretty decent seat. The spell casting and general dorkery is still present, but at least I have a cool seat and a Mr. Pibb and bucket of popcorn.

11:45ish: I see a guy that looks remarkably familiar and realize that he is quite possibly an exact replica of Dan Gilbert's son who pulled the #1 pick for them in this year's Draft Lottery. I can't take my eyes off of him. A perfect doppelganger. Unfortunately, I am definitely the only person in the theater that knows who Dan Gilbert or the Cleveland Cavaliers are.

12:30: The movie promptly starts with a few really lame previews and a pretty sweet Batman preview. As the actual movie starts following the previews the audience erupts. Seriously, who claps during movies? It's annoying and weird. I want to cut off the hands of anybody who claps, hoots, or hollers in any form.

12:45: I realize that I have to pee. My bladder may explode. It tempers my enjoyment of the movie for the next couple hours.

2:45: The movie ends. Again, the clapping. Why?! I still have to pee, but hold off until we can get out of the sea of nerds and to a close gas station.

4:00: I finally lay down for the night.

My overall synopsis of the movie: it's good. It's actually really good. It's the best they've made so far. It does need a disclaimer for some people though, explaining that it is in no way based on a true story or real events.

To whom it may concern...

If anybody has any connections to the programming director for NBATV, please feel free to pass this on.

To whom it may concern,

I am an avid sports fan. More particularly, I am an avid basketball fan. Seeing as how the NBA has the most talented basketball players in the world, that translates to me being a huge fan of the NBA. Since I can remember, I have enjoyed watching the pure athleticism of NBA players and the drama of the race for the NBA Championship. I am now a father of 3 children, all boys, and I would love for them to share this interest and fanatical attitude with me so after work I often turn the TV on to my newly acquired NBATV and hope that they can appreciate the wonder of the game winning shot or high flying dunk. On top of that whole teaching and being a good father thing, it gives me an avenue to sit down and relax while enjoying classic games of my past. Here's the catch... this weekend, whatever idiot was running the programming for NBATV forgot that there was not a "W" on the front of the channel name. Remember, the reason that your fans watch the NBA and in turn NBATV is to see talented athletes doing things that we can only dream about. In no way, shape, or form do I turn on my TV with the intent to watch Diana Taurasi slowly gallop up the court and hoist a layup from 3 feet out. If I wanted to see the athleticism of WNBA players, I would watch an episode of "Wipe out." In fact, if you're struggling to get programming with this whole "Lockout" debacle, I would rather see a complete re-run of the biggest blowouts in NBA history than the most competitive WNBA game. Honestly though, I could even stomach programming showing the Finals of the WNBA. I think it might bring enough competition and drama to hold my attention, but if I have to watch another WNBA regular season game or any sort of commentary on the regular season I just may shoot myself in the eye with a pellet gun. You may think that I am one of only a few fans that prefer male over female sports, but based on the limited attendance at WNBA events, ESPN's non-coverage, and the fact that Lingerie Football is probably the closest thing to a women's sporting event that most men have ever seen, I'd venture to say that I am the norm.

Thank you for your time and I hope that you can come up with enough "Hardwood Classics" from your database of over 40,000 games to replace the WNBA programming with actual sports.

Warm Regards,

Brandon Sherwood

Teenage Mutant Andrew Bynum!

I'm just going to put it all on the line... if Andrew Bynum put a shell on his back and carried a stick, he would be Donatello. Arguments need not be made. They are like identical twins separated at birth. Not to mention, they share similar qualities. For example, Donatello is known to be the weakest and dorkiest of all the Ninja Turtles. Andrew Bynum is known to be the same among the Lakers. On top of that, both have natural abilities that would allow them to be the best ever, if they weren't so weak. Donatello was obviously the smartest turtle and could have designed a much cooler weapon than the bow staff. Andrew Bynum has a body build and frame that could place him in the upper echelon of NBA players and yet he continues to be a complete embarrassment. Plus they both wear purple. This is not a coincidence. This is some sort of cosmic alliance and greater plan.

Bull Shark v. Salt Water Crocodile Updated

I decided to do some further research after a heated discussion between a friend and I about this very match up. He sided with the shark immediately and claimed that he could find evidence of such a battle already taking place. I found the evidence and just wanted to be the bigger man and say... Booyah!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-475994/Clash-titans-battle-shark-crocodile.html

I will be dead and in my grave when a water buffalo gets the same rights as me

If PETA knew me I would probably be public enemy #2, directly behind Michael Vick, who I love. I don't care about animals unless they are a good cut and medium rare. I am not a fan of people who treat animals like humans and act as if they have rights like humans. What really burns my britches is when animals are given rights and preference over humans. I'm quite sure that if we continue in our over the top treatment of animals we'll be living in our own episode of Planet of the Apes.

Steps down from soap box...

The Denver fire department is going to begin to carry animal oxygen masks on their trucks to help the pets of folks involved in fires. Now I'm not completely heartless. I understand that people involved in a traumatic situation like a house fire would be even more traumatized if Sparky came away in a front end loader full of ashes. I get it. I personally just assume they carry hot dog roasters, skewer Fluffy, and sell her to the local China buffet afterwards to raise money instead of standing in an intersection with a boot. It does look like the masks are donated, so I can't complain too much.

Check out the video and see what you think:

This just in: Kendrick Perkins is not a complete douche

I have always felt that Kendrick Perkins was a mean-mugging douche the likes of which only Kevin Garnett could out douche. This is probably because on the court the guy always looks like somebody peed in his Cheerios. Deadspin posted a nice little story today that changed that view. It will change yours as well.

http://deadspin.com/#!5793919/how-these-two-white-guys-wound-up-in-this-kendrick-perkins-family-photo

Caged in: Badger v. Puma

The name of the game is: which animal would you rather be locked in a cage with?

Ground rules: cage is 20' by 20', I picture less of a cage and more of a small zoo exhibit, small non-climbable trees, shrubbery, sticks and logs, maybe a tire or medicine ball, typical small monkey cage. Now that the picture is set, let's see who we're up against. Today, the choice is badger or puma. Pictures of ferocity below:

I'm sure there are a lot of different views on this one. You have the aggressive, ferocious nature of the badger, who really always seems to be rabid, versus the quick, stealth like stalking of the puma. At first glance, you may say, the badger is much smaller and I could quickly calm him and or knock him unconscious. A word of warning to those who may fall into that trap: do you see the above picture? I don't care if this little dude is the size of a toy poodle, he's frightening and obviously not somebody I want to corner. Badgers are quick little boogers with a mean streak and small, but very strong muscular bodies. On the other hand, you have the puma who is probably going to weigh in around 150-200 lbs with notable quickness and power. He will outrun you no matter the pattern you run.

Here's my thoughts and choice. I'm going to pit myself against the puma. I know it sounds crazy, but I'll explain.

1.) The puma is not known to be as temperamental and may be lulled into submission.

B.) If I can get behind the puma, I may be able to go sleeper hold or just pound the poor guy over his head with a log until he bleeds to death or at least falls into a deep slumber. I don't think I could do that with the badger. He's too small to climb on and I think he would slip out and devour my face.

III.) Do you see that picture? I think the puma even in a situation where he got the best of me, would maim me, pull me around by my arm for a while, and then get bored when I play possum. The badger would not get bored, because again, he would devour my face in it's entirety and serve my retinas to his little rabid badger children.

I'm sure I could be convinced otherwise, but for now, I'm trying my luck against the puma... given the situation ever arose.

Bull Shark v. Salt Water Crocodile

And so begins Animal vs. Animal. I really think it would be awesome if somebody would create a show that would actually make this happen. Unfortunately, all of our friends at PETA would crap bricks if we put their beloved animals in a cage match to the death. Seriously though, who wouldn't watch a show that let two ferocious animals mow through each other like a fat kid at a Golden Corral. So... on to the fight.

Keep in mind, that the name of the game is not "Which animal would make you crap your pants quicker?" We are only interested in a head to head, strengths vs. weaknesses fight. Here's my thoughts: Normally, I always side with the Bull Shark. They are terribly frightening if for no other reason than their unmatched aggression and complete disregard for life of any kind. They have razor sharp teeth, super elusive speed, and even the guy on River Monsters doesn't want to tangle with this guy. In a battle in the water, which I am assuming, they may even have a slight advantage in the swimming category- no pesky little T-Rex legs to get in the way. However, if anybody has ever seen a crocodile up close and personal, they know why most consider them to be the closest thing to a dinosaur still living. They are massive, fast, and have jaws that would crush a Mack Truck. They have the slight weakness of not having strong muscles to open the mouth, but my guess is that the bull shark is not aware of this. My bet is firmly placed on the Salt Water Crocodile. This is mostly based on size and pure power, so the bull shark with its Mike Tysonesque aggression and lunacy still has a shot, but I'm going 8 out of 10 battles in favor of Croc.

Real Men Don't Buy Girls

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have a new cause that they are fighting for. Granted, human trafficking is a bad thing. I'm not into buying Hondurans. Being involved in charities and having a cause to fight for is also good, especially when you are a bored celebrity who is too old to make a movie as a stripper. However, I'm really not sure where they're going with this other than just drawing attention to an interesting ad campaign that is completely unrelated to their cause. I'm fairly sure that being the type of person that eats cereal out of a box, makes a grilled cheese with an iron, or starts a fire with your hand (which I'm certain AD could do just based on his physical prowess) could also buy, sell, trade, and barter for women and children. I don't know that those attributes are mutually exclusive. Maybe I'm wrong. I mean Sean Penn doesn't look at all like the type of guy that would have Vietnamese women in his cellar. Also, since when does Tom Selleck's or any other mustache not make you think immediately of human trafficking and pedophilia. Even my 18 month old child knows that you can trust a guy with a mustache.

Take a look at the YouTube channel and enjoy the commercials... I guess.

http://www.youtube.com/user/DNAFoundation

Can somebody get Rajon Rondo some royalties?!

Rajon Rondo is one of my least favorite players in the NBA. It's mostly due to the fact that he played for Kentucky and then made his way up to the Celtics. I'm sure had he not played for either of those two teams I wouldn't hate him, but I would still think that he was weird looking. I finally put it together the other day. Paint him blue and he is obviously that female Avatar creature. Seriously, does nobody else think that he may be from some weird alternate universe?

Shaq Quote of the Day and Previous Two Years

I'm not real sure what this is referring to or why Shaq thinks everybody from Ireland is a pirate.
“Yeah, have fun over there. And if you see any of my Irish cousins, tell ‘em I said, ‘Shiver me timbers,’ or something like that.”

Back in the Saddle Again!

Due to my new job being mindless and slow, I am going to re-establish the ole Blog.

The first matter of business is to set up some continuity. No more loosey goosey whoring around. I'm thinking we'll set up some good segments: weekly, daily, etc. I would also appreciate some good audience participation. I speak mostly to the 2 people that actually read this and somewhat to the 1 person that happened onto the blog whilst searching for his political activism fix.

I'll take votes via comments, phone calls, or telegraph on which segments should stick. So far I've come up with a very informative weekly segment on which carnivorous animal would kill and eat which animal in a fight to the death. I often ponder this in my head and with one of the 2 said readers. Similarly, I will regularly pull out a segment in which I discuss which of 2 animals I would prefer to be locked in a confined space with. Right now my mind is mostly on animals. Probably due to the fact that I just ate meat loaf, but I'm sure we'll come up with some more segments and will most likely keep the previous segments as well.

Addendum: Brian Scalabrine sitings will also occur during the NBA season.