Old Year's Resolutions

Customer traffic on Saturdays in the RV industry can generally be likened to that of traffic at a Vietnamese whore house in 1972. However, when it's colder than a polar bear's testicles outside and Christmas season is at full speed, my job becomes considerably more boring. In conjunction with the boredom, I also become much less enthused about everything. In fact, every Winter season brings unimaginable thoughts and calculations of exactly how fast I will need to drive to kill myself on impact when I hit the bridge embankment. That is not a cry for help, just a fact.

All of that aside, at the request of several of you, my "fans," I have made a resolution to try and keep this blog slightly more current with my rambling ons of wisdom, opinion, and what nots.

Below is a recap of what I've been doing and thinking over the last several months (read: right now because I can't remember past that) since I last bombed with truths and tomfoolery.

1.) Winter and the cold weather and Christmas cheer that accompany it sucks giant water buffalo sized man tits equipped with multiple squiggly hairs that will inevitably get caught in your teeth and disgust you for hours, if not days, to come.

B.) The NBA lockout is finally over. David Stern has proven himself to have a small penis and a large desire to act like a huge douche. All in all , I am excited about the prospect of the sports world rotating like it should from here on out.

III.) My kids are keeping me up at night regularly which puts me in a generally pissy mood to go along with the witch tit cold weather and boring job.

4.) I just heard an old man say Sears and Roebuck. If he wasn't my boss's father in law, I might throw a water pressure regulator at him and inform him that it's not 1956.

E.) I loath the fact that Tyrann Mathieu from LSU was given the nickname Honey Badger. While he is a good player, he is in no way as terrifying as a freaking badger. Also, he is a coon ass and should be referred to as such.

VI.) Not to be a sell out, but I could always use a little extra cheese. So, anybody reading this should spread the word so I can increase my traffic, monetize this machine, buy an island in the Carribean, and wage war on French Guyana.

The End.