A day in the life of a big time HP employee

I am finally out of training after 5 weeks of intense study of important things like how to leave a voicemail and insights like a chipset is a set of chips. Now that I am aware of the mysteries of life, I can begin my real job. So, I am going to document my day for everyone to see. Here it goes:

6:13- Leave for work while listening to Corey and Jay Show
6:45- Arrive at parking lot and wind down from traffic stress
6:52- Begin 6 block walk to the office, every step leads me farther away from the drunken bums outside the Lafayette building.
6:59- Arrive at desk, turn on computer, login to phone.
7:01- Turn on Pandora radio for the day.
7:05- Begin reading newspapers from the northeast to get a better feel for life as one of my clients.
7:14- Read intriguing story about a murderer shot in the courtroom after attacking the judge.
7:17- Create "Question" (Old 97's) station on Pandora
7:23- Look at clock- it's not lunch time
7:30- Still not lunch time
7:33- IM my manager- "Busy right now, I'll ping you back in a few minutes"
7:34- IM my mentor- schedule only meeting of day for 1pm
7:35- Stare aimlessly at my cubicle wall trying to find patterns in the decorative lines
7:36- Deadspin, ESPN, The Onion, Facebook, Random Google searches
10:16- Time actually stops for a full 3 hours
10:46- Create "Ben Folds" station on Pandora
10:51- Look at all 8 billion albums on vinyl at BestBuy.com
11:28- Can I make it from the 11th floor of the Metropolitan Building to the 2 floor of the closed down YMCA next door? I think so...
11:34- Call from Billy... He might schedule a meeting, but I'm not sure I'll be able to make room in my busy schedule.
11:37- It's nearly lunch time.
12:10- Go to lunch. It's left over pinto beans, collard greens, fried okra, and ribs. Excitement ensues.
12:35- Help Emily create a Siebel opportunity- yeah, that's real work.
12:48- Wait patiently for my meeting with John to start. Is there an actual purpose for this meeting? Doubtful, but at least it's real human contact.
1:01- I hope the meeting planned for 1 is still on.
1:04- John calls, conferences me in on sales calls, goes over tools. Obviously the reason the HP is paying me.
1:42- End phone call with John, wait on Mark (my manager) to call me at 2.
1:50- Got scheduled into a training from 4-5. Yea! I've been here since 7 and was thinking about leaving at 3:30. Guess not.
2:15- Still waiting on Mark to call me. I'm sure he's just busy. Right?
2:16- Time to make my rounds on Deadspin, ESPN, Facebook, etc.
2:18- Mark called. 2 minute conversation letting me know that he won't know anything till Monday. Thanks.
2:21- Talked to Casey. Fortunately, he isn't working either. It's nice to sink with at least one other person in your boat.
2:52- Talked to Rachel- at least I'm not cold calling K12 schools in southern Texas. Ouch.
3:29- Watch Onion videos